House Remodel Pics

Time to update a few of the remodel pics. I hesitated posting these, only because the flooring guys are coming on Wednesday to put carpet in the baby room, and Marmoleum in the bathroom! Also, I have not settled 100% on a new color to paint the floor, so please pardon the blue floor with the blue walls. The blue floor worked out so well when the walls were all white!
Here is the NEW hallway. Here is a link to an old post with a picture "before bathroom".
Here is what it looks like now:

And here is the HUGE shower. I took the door off the medicine cabinet to paint the base, still need to paint the door & put it back up.

The door to the baby room is nearly straight across the hall, here is the view into the baby room.

And here is a link to an old post to see what the space looked like B.F.: Before Walls.
here it is now, quite a change! The little "peak" area in the corner is one of my favorite features of the room. My friend Scott who his helping (read:running the show) build this suggested we could straighten it out or hide it in some way, but I really just love it. I thought it might be just the perfect place to put a little growth chart.

I really love this little built in behind the door. We are going to put a little closet rod in it as well and the shelves are all removable, so I can hang some little girl dresses I have, although I have so many, they certainly won't all fit! You can see at least one of her two first teddy bears! One is from Uncle Scott (who I've promised gets to be "first uncle" based on the thousands of hours he has dedicated to making my house ready for her arrival!), and the other from cousin Molly, Aunt Heather and Uncle Brent. That one is hidden in this pic, but it's a Vermont Teddy Bear, I think it's called a "giving bear", when you buy one, they donate another teddy bear to a needy child. When they bought this one for Sprout, there was a "special" where they were donating TWO teddy bears to needy children!
These great big windows let in a lot of beautiful morning sun! I will need to get safety devices for them though since we are on the 2nd floor!
And finally the last (I hope!) pics of the old railing! If you saw in any of the old pics, this railing was originally a U shape around the stairway. Far from child safe or appealing, it was destined to be replaced from the beginning. However, it was not high on the priority list! The cabinet replaced what was previously just empty space, so we need to make the doors for the cabinet, then we'll start on the stairway. You can see my fancy new newel post by the side of the cabinet! We took a(nother) trip to McCoy yesterday and I donated a little more cash to their cause...in exchange they gave me a few pieced of wood & a receipt with a big number on it. I really do look forward to the day that a large amount of my monthly expenditures do not go to McCoy, as much as I like the people there and enjoy playing with the kitty who lives at the store, I could sure do with spending a little less! Nonetheless, it is a beautiful newel post, isn't it?

Please Help...Blogger ate my links

Okay, I'm missing a few links. the one I can remember is KATE! Kate can you please email me with your blog? Blogger ate my links & I can't find yours now! If anyone else sees that they were there before & are not there now (and would like to be!)-please let me know!
Thanks,
Kelli

11 Months!

There it is! My 11 month Lid-versary! It's time to Celebrate, because I MUST have hit the halfway point by now! Surely...I am on the downhill side of this wait!!!

Pick up the Closest book and....

Read it!

I've been Tagged by New Girl!

Here are the "rules":
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Write down lines 6-8.
4. Tag 3 people.

The nearest book was on my bookshelf...surrounded by a whole lot of other books...so after looking & trying to decide which one was best, I just closed my eyes and reached out & grabbed one. Ha Jin is an author I found a few years ago who is published in the US but not in China. I heard him do a reading at Powells about 2 or 3 years ago now, and I really love his writing!

page 123:

"Good Morning Secretary Liu Shu," Bin shouted from

a distance of fifty yards, waving as though they had been

old friends. He did this for Song, to identify Liu for him;

wow what a teaser, huh?

I highly reccomend it....!

Now who to tag? I don't know who has done this, but how about my possible ALT travel buddies: C1 & C2? And one more- Sharon!

Snow Day!!

I woke up this morning to snow just coming down like it was Vermont! This is so not normal for Portland, so it was very exciting. I kept listening for school closures but no closures...I guess after last weeks big mistake of closing schools for what amounted to less than 1/2 cm of snow (and what turned out to be a sunny and beautiful day!) the Portland Public School system was a little freaked out about getting yelled at again...so they waited until 7:45 to cancel schools! I went to work only to find almost no one there. I stayed a few hours, did all my emails, and left late morning.

Now...what's a girl to do when she finds herself suddenly given a "free" day in the middle of the week??? Quilt of course! Sorry Wendy...I was so excited from last night & my first block, I just got sew happy today & had at it! 5 more blocks today!

The hard part about doing this 100 Good wishes quilt is NOT the sewing part....or the cutting part...those are actually pretty easy. The hard part is bringing together around 115 fabrics from around 100+ different people, in different colors, and different patterns, and making it look cohesive. To top it off, most of my squares are 8" square. which means I can get 9 pieces from one swatch. But- I also have 7" squares from which I can get only 6 pieces. The pattern I picked essentially has a "dark" and a "light". One needs 13 squares, the other needs 20 squares. So I need to match 2 or 3 materials in one color or family to get one set of "light" squares, and 2 or 3 more materials in another color family to get one set of "dark" squares. So essentially I need to find 6 squares that go well enough together that they can be combined in a square and look like they were intended to go together. It's not always easy!
This one is probably my least favorite because I just couldn't find enough fabrics that went SO well together, but I think when the whole quilt is done, it will look better.

And sometimes they just totally come together. I don't love strawberry shortcake, but I'm sure little girl will love her, so she made appearances in several squares in this block!
This one was also a challenge- the white based materials went well together, the swimming cats in the corners were tough since the blue was unlike ANY OTHER MATERIAL I HAVE, but I think this worked out okay!
Another challenge! Okay actually this one I just realized is on it's side! oops! One of my friends wanted to contribute a square- she had done a block for someone at her husband's work a year or so ago, and so I was very careful to explain that I need fabric, not a block....on a few different occasions...but when she gave it to me, it was this very sweet block, half yellow, half green, with ladybugs dancing down the middle that were hand appliqued on. It was adorable! So the challenge was HOW to incorporate it into the block I am using! I think it works out okay.
That brings me to 6 blocks. 14 to go. Perhaps a few more this weekend...unless of course that Freezing Rain comes tonight & tomorrow is another snow day!

First Quilt Block Done!

Okay, I've done it! I've finally started Sprout's Bai Jia Bei....her 100 Good Wishes Quilt!
Here is the first square.
Now is also the time to confess that the green around the sides was one of my fabrics I bought, so I had plenty of it to make more squares with. The biggest challenge is getting well over 100 different fabrics into groupings and into squares where the colors look good next to each other. This is going to be quite a challenge! I did cheat on the first one & use a fabric I had lots of, but some of the fabrics are only 7" square, so I can only get 4 squares out of it! I'm LOVING those 8" squares, and now especially the ones I got duplicates of!!

So Wendy emailed me & suggested we get going on these quilts at the same time...this seems like JUST the kind of inspiration I need to keep me going! It looks like we are even using the same block pattern, it's called a "Z Cross".
Tonight after I finished stitching the first block, I cut & laid out squares for the 2nd block.
The way the pattern shows it, this quilt needs 20 blocks. 1 down, 19 to go. As the house remodel project seems to be coming to a close in the next month or two, it looks like I'll be replacing the sawdust in my life with bits of thread everywhere!

A Mouse in the House: A Wussy Cat

It was purely plausible,
Kitty food in piles so meaningful,
I tried to deny it,
to pretend the signs were not there,
But finally there it was,
the mouse, Cause I saw it!

When I spotted the mouse,
I begged "leave my poor house!"
But he didn't obey,
So I ran away,
to the store in a fury,
to purchase traps in a hurry!

After 1 day of baiting,
and checking and waiting,
I saw nothing at all,
not that mousey so small.

After 2 days of baiting,
And checking and waiting,
The winner was clear,
Not the mouse, that poor dear...

He tried to resist,
But peanut butter-can't be missed,
It was gooey and rich,
But it came with a "hitch"

Now I'm back to my kitchen,
Where the mouse was not bitten,
Least not by the cat,
Oh That trap made such a SPLAT!

Cause he didn't chase it to kill it,
He ran and hid until I did it!

And that is the story of the Mouse In my House, and the Cat who hid.

Messages

Ever have those days where you feel like you've been 'chosen' to be the listener? I am not a religious person, but I guess that I would say I have spiritual qualities. Sometimes. So something happened yesterday that was just so odd, and it brought back a memory from last year, when something similar happened.

I am one LUCKY GIRL to be living in a city with a great train system. I LOVE the Max...and, it's relatively close to my house, which means I can easily walk to one of the close by stops & take it out to the airport. So much cheaper than a cab. So last year at Christmas, I took the Max to the airport. I live in what I guess you would call a transitional neighborhood. There are still people who say "oh you live in THAT area of town?"- but an awful lot more who say "wow, wise girl, you got a house in THAT area of town!!!" And truth be told, it's not exactly what I'd call "rough", although there are some rougher areas not too far away. So, I was waiting on the platform for the train to come, and this woman with one eye comes up to me and starts talking. This woman could well have been on crack. If not at that time, the day before. I was smiling & listening to her mostly- that's what it seemed she wanted. She was telling me about her friend who was homeless, in a wheelchair, how he was a white guy but he was okay, but stubborn- and he didn't have legs- I think. It was a year ago. Then she started saying how she quit doing heroine (Okay exchange "crack" for "heroine" above) and he didn't, and she took him to a Christmas party at a church and he was disrespecting her friends there, and she wanted to fight him. I don't remember much else about the conversation- to be honest I wasn't terribly comfortable standing there next to her, but I think mostly it was her odor. Not sure if she was homeless, but she definitely needed a shower.

So the train comes & I go to the next car up to get on. I sit down next to this adorable elderly woman with the cutest little black hat on. This is the idyllic grandmother look- perfectly white curly hair, a neat and tidy outfit with a clean coat, comfort shoes- she is really adorable. So after a few minutes I looked at her and said "I love your hat, it's so pretty." At which point she started talking to me- telling me she has to wear a hat because when she was in a concentration camp in Germany they beat her so much on the head that she has a spot where hair won't grow. that some people didn't believe she'd been in a concentration camp (did I mention the very German accent?), and then onto death & dying. She said there was a woman who came to Portland several years back that she had seen speak, who had "given us permission to die." She said she is the woman who wrote the book "On Death & Dying", which basically gave the world permission to die. She said before that time, you had to live no matter what- but this woman told the world it was okay to die. She was very interesting and I was sorry that our ride was so short.

So, I changed to the other train & once it arrived, piled on with the other passengers. It was close to Christmas, so standing room only. I ended up standing next to a guy who was more or less my age, maybe a few years younger. We started talking about our trips, who we were visiting, and he started pouring out to me that his sister had moved away and his parents were getting older, and in a few years he was going to have to think about moving back to take care of them. As the son (who was likely not more than 30 at this point) he felt it was his obligation, not his elder sisters, to move back to his hometown & take care of his parents when they were getting older.

The irony is these three events happened back to back, all in about 1 1/2 hrs or less. I tried to figure out what they meant. Maybe they didn't mean anything. Maybe my "role" for the day was just to be the person to hear them as they made it through their day. Maybe I was supposed to provide them with something, or maybe more importantly, they provided ME with something. I don't know. But it's a year later, and I still remember that day with quite a bit of clarity.

So yesterday we had our monthly FCC waiting families meeting. It's held at a hospital in town, so I stopped at the starbucks before going up to the meeting. There was a Dr. or Nurse right ahead of me who ordered his coffee, and we ended up waiting for our coffees at the same time. I was carrying 2 cookbooks, but they were fairly covered by my bulky jacket. As we waited, he looked at me and started explaining that he had these roasted salted macadamia nuts his girlfriend had brought him, and he had just realized he could grind them up, and put them onto halibut (or salmon, I forget), and there was a bit more detail I don't recall. I said, and did the cookbooks in my hands inspire that?" He said, no, then something about not noticing them. So we both walk to the elevator and he starts saying how he was driving home from work the other day & was planning to skin a salmon he had waiting at home and grill it, but then he got home and decided instead to cube it, then dip it in milk, then in egg, then dredge in flour, then in egg again, then in cracker crumbs, mixed with garlic and salt and (several other spices I forget now) and fry it and.....at which point the elevator opened and he got off and was looking at me and still talking, then started turning and walking away but still talking out loud and the elevator doors closed and....that was it. I have no idea what it means. Am I supposed to change careers and take over for Lynnn Rosetta Casper? hmm....no, don't think so. but I did come home and make a cake.

So interesting, sometimes these things happen and I just get the idea that there is something more there- kind of the red-thread idea when it's not connected to adoption: We have red threads that connect us to everyone in our lives, when we need people or they need us, the red threads shorten, and when they need us less or we need them less, they lengthen. I like that more loosely interpreted version. Red threads to everyone I know.

More Christmas Pics

Okay- a few more Christmas pics. This is my Mom- she raises & breeds Golden Retrievers (check out the link for "MY MOM" on the side bar- you can see pics of her dogs). she has 12 Golden Retrievers. Yes, 12. It's a LOT. They are amazingly well behaved, but it's important to note that she also runs training classes, so these guys are essentially in "doggy class" every day of their lives. I couldn't resist the pics of all 12 of them sitting at one time. This is the rule for "biscuit time". Everyone has to be sitting before anyone gets any cookies.
And, if someone tries to grab their cookie before it was their turn (Because there is actually an ORDER to which dog gets their cookie first, second, third, etc.)- they lose their turn & end up at the back of the line. A few of them were a little more impatient than others, but they pretty much all waited their turn....butts on the floor the whole time! Amazing. And my CAT begs at the table. (A habit I'm trying to break, I swear....)
Mom & Molly a few days after Christmas, actually Molly's birthday is early December, but my sister was sick on her birthday, so she just postponed the party until I was there at Christmas. She is still the age where it's okay to postpone, since she doesn't yet understand the calendar! The funniest part was when my Mom brought Molly her birthday gifts, the first thing she did was pick up each gift from the bag and try to take it to the Christmas Tree! She got so good at putting gifts under the Christmas tree, she just assumed this was more of the same!
This was another reading day...This was Click Clack Moo. SO Funny. I don't know the author, but essentially the cows have a typewriter, and leave notes for the farmer. "The Barn is Cold. We want electric blankets. Or NO MILK. -The Cows." and various notes such as that. Too funny. There was also a sequal, I think it was "Click Clack Quack"- where the duck gets a hold of the typewriter & leaves notes for the Farmers brother who comes to look after the farm for a few days. Loved by 2 year olds, comical enough to keep adults entertained!
This is the family- my brother in law, mom, me, and on the bottom, my sister & of course, the littlest Miss Molly! The day before I left, I was packing my suitcase. I don't know if Molly remembered the "Molly in the suitcase" pics from last time, but she hopped right in there with Naked Baby (there is also "blue baby and Pink baby, but this one is "Naked Baby.") and was giggling away. Unfortunately, I didn't get to bring her home with me! Will just have to get back to VT again soon to see her!

Molly Pics

Okay, Now it's time I subject you all to those family pictures...not so bad though as my niece is pretty darn cute!! (not that I'm biased or anything!!!)

This is Molly sporting her felted Purple hat her very own Aunt Kel made for her...as I made these for my other Waiting Mama friends as well, there was a distinction made between "Molly's hat" and "Aunt Kelli's hats." And she continually wanted to try on Aunt Kelli's hats! It's difficult to explain to a 2 year old what it means when you say "they are gifts for other people..." I think she kinda took it as, oh, that's nice.
On Christmas Eve at Grandma's house...reading one of her Christmas books. I think it was Mr Brown can MOO, can YOU? It's a great book...I must get it before sprout comes home!! I probably read it 20 times over Christmas & am still not bored with it!
Molly playing with Mommy on Christmas Morning in her adorable little 'santa' dress!And pretty much just hanging out, being cute.....

Why China?

This is a chain started by Johnney- he posted first on "why China" and it's now been making its way around the cyber-adoption blog world. Now it's my turn, I've been tapped by Wendy who is waiting with her husband for their little buttercup to come home.

When I was young....like...7, 8, 9 young...I always said "I want to have some babies and I want to adopt some babies." Meaning, throw me a few biological and a few adopted and call it a day..." I grew up in VT in an incredibly "white bread" community where the only diversity was this boy in my high school whose name I think was Merit Eddy. He was African American and adopted by a white family. Every other student in the 500 student high school was white. Just, white. Lots of rednecks, but pretty much, just white. There were usually a couple of foreign exchange students. The funny thing is, everyone was so starved for diversity, that they were often the most popular kids in school.

I had (aside from the one student who was way too popular to be friends with me) absolutely NO contact with adoptive families growing up. I had no idea what it meant aside from watching the musical Annie. So why did I always feel I would adopt some kids? I truly have no idea, but it's just something I knew even when I was very young. I did truly believe that I would just get married, have kids, adopt kids, call it good. after all, everyone did, right? It was so easy. You go to college, you get married, you start a family.

Fast forward a dozen years- I'm 28 or so, and I got out of a 2 year relationship and of course was crushed. I made the decision that I was going to give it another go around (dating), but if I made it in, and OUT of another relationship and found myself single once again, I would look into adoption as a single mom. I don't think I gave country much of a thought at that time, but just knew it was something I'd look into. I gave myself until I was 35. About 8 months after that relationship ended, I went to China for work for 3 months. I lived in Guangdong province in an apartment with people from China, Vietnam, and Indonesia. It was a life changing experience, and made me want to learn more about China and see more of it.

A few years later I met a wonderful man, and we dated for 3 years. My life changed a lot in those 3 years. I had already been traveling to Asia (China, Taiwan, Korea, Vietnam...etc) for work for several years, but had really wanted to spend some time traveling in China and see more of the beautiful parts. We planned a trip. I had been taking various "fun" classes at the community college, and decided I would take a "brain" class- I decided to take Chinese, I had picked up several phrases when I lived there for 3 moths, so thought "I'll take it for a semester or two. That will be fun." I've now been studying for 4 years! It's been a big surprise how much I've loved it!

So, we took this trip to China, and I saw a lot MORE of China. And I loved it. 1 month was not nearly enough, I could have spent a year there. It was incredible. This man's sister had also adopted as a single Mom, (from China), so I had this wonderful experience of knowing her and watching her as a Mom. Unfortunately, the relationship did not last. 3 years later I was single again and again quite crushed. I was looking for a change- 32 and single. I started looking at investment properties with the idea I'd buy a duplex or triplex. A job opportunity came up in our office in China and I interviewed for that. Finally I realized that I was treading water but all I really wanted was a family. As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mom. I wanted to be a wife and a Mom, but at this point, the wife thing is not really working out, and I finally realized that I could be a Mom now, and maybe a wife later. I want a life partner- I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love the closeness of having someone to share your life with. I love taking care of people and being taken care of in return. But that part of my life is just not there right now. So I also need to look out for what else I need in my life. And I decided what I needed, and wanted, was children.

In January of 2005 I started thinking about adopting on my own. When I thought about where, there was never really a question in my mind that it would be from China. There was never really a question in my mind that I would be adopting vs. getting pregnant on my own. I was just not so tied to my DNA that I had to have a child who looked like me. And I didn't have the desire to be pregnant on my own. I thought the "where is my daddy" question was way easier to answer (for me) by "you have a biological mommy and daddy in China" and "you have a biological daddy who was athletic and had an IQ of 140 and had blonde hair." (yes I know bio Mommies who do it on their own have WAY better answers to those questions, I was also afraid of swollen ankles & bedrest as a single person trying to support myself if I had to be on bed rest & the sad looks people give you when they say "you don't have a husband? oh poor thing...etc, etc...) I have to say that Bio Mommies who do it on their own have my utmost admiration. It's an incredibly brave feat to go through on your own.

I gave other countries a second thought only because I thought "should I be thinking about other countries?" But I have so many ties to China, I have fallen in love with the country time and again. When I think about what I NEED and WANT to provide to my child, it's a sense of love and pride for both her birth culture as well as her adoptive culture. I have a great respect for China and for the Chinese. Sure there are issues, but our country is filled with issues too. Should the Chinese families who give up children value their daughters more? yes. Should the American families who beat their children value their children more and beat their children less? yes. Should China change their policies to allow families to have two children? yes. Should the US change their policies to protect children and prevent them from going back to abusive or neglectful families? yes. We've all got issues. But the underlying respect and love for the country needs to be there-and I knew I had that for China.

I tried to think about where else I would consider. India- definitely a possibility. I knew some people from India while in college- and they were SO wonderful and warm- really just good people. And a beautiful culture. Kazakhstan and Russia frightened me too much- Fetal Alcohol/drug syndrome seemed to be too great a possibility. The US was never a consideration for me. It frightens me that the US puts more focus on the rights of the birth parents than the rights of the child. NO decision regarding the custody of a child should be taken lightly. I would like to think that any birth parent who chooses an adoption plan for their child has gone through the most difficult decision of their life, and has made a decision based on all of the facts. A decision not made lightly. But well publicized cases over the years have shown us that birth parents can change their mind months even years later- with no regard for the adoptive family or the best interest of the child. An article in Adoptive families showed that in the US, a child can have 1 biological mother and 2 fathers: An assumed father and a theoretical father- (in the event that a couple is not divorced but the mother has a boyfriend)- both have legal "claim" to the child. This scared the hell out of me. That said, the US was not even a consideration for me.

The biggest decision for me was not "China or not"- but "Adopt as a single or not"?
Cost was never a concern-if I wanted it, I'd find a way to make it happen.
Timing was never a concern-If it took 6 months or 12 months, I'd be okay. (although this 16-18 months is really testing my patience!)
Location was never a question-I knew it would be china.

Logistics was the question. How would I do this? For every reason I came up with for NOT adopting as a single Mama, I came up with 3 reasons why I should. It took me 8 months of intensive thinking to decide to do it on my own. In those 8 months, I decided against the China job (and they ended up not hiring anyone for it anyway), I decided against becoming a landlord, I met a birthmother of 5 girls in china- 2 of which had been abandoned as babies, I kept seeing "signs" everywhere. I had a terrible date for the Rose festival parade, but ended up standing in front of 2 families whose children came running up afterwards- 4 chinese daughters between the 2 families. I was watching the kids through the parade, and willing the date to be over, but thinking the whole time about the kids and if I could do it on my own. (good news: I made it through the end of the bad date unscathed)

So finally I realized, yes, I could do it. I had wonderful support from those I discussed it with during my decision process. The ex-boyfriend's sister (mom to a beautiful daughter from China) was especially supportive. My Mom- Incredibly supportive from the first moment I told her, My sister & Brother in law- supportive after they got USED to the idea! And Friends- bubbling with excitment. My amazing family, my amazing friends. I am such a Lucky Girl to have them all in my life.

The next big roadblock was finding a singles slot. China has had for several years an 8% quota for singles- only 8% of families can be single parents families. This means singles need to get on waiting lists, sometimes waiting 6-8 months or longer before they can even begin their paperwork. I contacted 36 agencies and found a slot within 2 weeks. So, I started right away and was logged in on 2-24-06.

I've found an amazing group of other single waiting mamas. Those times when I see married couples waiting and being able to lean on each other and gain support from each other is less difficult because of this amazing community of friends I've found. We call our group our "village." It's the most wonderful part so far of this adoption experience- this group of amazing women who are sharing this journey with me. I feel so incredibly fortunate.

The only thing that I am sad about, doing this on my own, is not being able to turn around to someone and say "isn't she amazing? Isn't she fantastic?" and having that person feel just exactly the same. It's not having that person to share the joys with. The difficulties- Sprout & I will get through them. But it does sometimes bother me that I won't have that special person to share the joys with. I think that these indvidual joys will become shared joys within our group, and will help to strengthen our "village" even more. I grew up with a dozen and a half cousins. There were ALWAYS cousins around. It does bother me sometimes that my daughter's only cousin will be so far away and they won't get to see each other so often, but these women-my "village"-will be the very best Aunties, and My daughter will be lucky to have 3 (going on 6!) cousins that they will see very very often!

Now it's time to pass the chain along. I think I'm #21, which I hope is not indicative of how many months I'll be waiting for a referral. I'd like to tag Connie- She is another amazing single Mama I've met through the blogosphere, and I'm very excited to say that we should be meeting up in China as we share the same LID! So...from one 2-24-06 LID'er to another....Take it away Connie!

Here is where it's been-and where it's going:

So it's come down to this> Omega Mom>Letters from the Zoo> The Singing Bird>Elsie Elsewhere>Chicago Mama>Sopapilla>Are we There yet?>Hope Springs>Jiaozi>Figlet>Bionic Valentine>Hao Bao Bao>Mortimers Mom>Jazzie & Tahlia>Ruby In her Own Time> hey ho, hey ho>Love Made Real>The Moon is Always Female>Buttercup>Waiting for Sprout>Journey to Jadyn>