My life is different

Because I have a child from China, being in China is different than before.

I now scan faces, in the factories I visit, on the streets, in the market.

I scan faces for similarities to those children I know from the area I'm in.

I scan faces for any trace of evidence that this woman had to make what could have been the most difficult decision of her life, or that such a decision had been made for her.

I scan faces of pregnant women, wondering what their childs fate will be- will they be fortunate enough to grow up loved and strengthened by the love of their birth family? Or will their lives be changed forever by a single decision?

I scan the streets for young girls and boys playing by themselves and I think, please, don't let these children be one of "Those Children"- those children who are kidnapped and sold in far away provinces as a son for a family or as a bride where there are not enough girls.

I scan the faces of girls working in the factories who look barely 16 and wonder if they are one of the unlucky ones who "aged out" of an orphanage before a family could love them. (legally the minimum age is 18, but I've heard that "there are ways" to get documentation showing you are 18)

I scan road sides and alleys looking for something I hope never to see. A small bundle, a box with a moving blanket.

I scan.

Sunday in Guangzhou

We take a break from this description of Scotland to bring you a trip to china...the Scotland trip recap will resume after the China trip...sorry but TOO much travel too close together!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arrived in Guangzhou this morning via Hong Kong and as soon as I stepped off the plane I felt a familiar wave of heat and smell of China. There is a feeling you get, when you’ve become comfortable with a place, that makes it feel like coming home. There are only a few in my life. Vermont- Vermont has a feel and a smell and a look such that when I step off the plane, I recognize that “I am home” feeling. I don’t mean the “home to my home”, but you are coming to a place that is relaxing and you are comfortable with and you can consider “another home.” I grew up in Vermont so it’s not exactly a far cry to feel like going to Vermont is “coming home”, because it kind of is. Another place that I get that feeling is when I walk into a textile factory. I get the feeling and the view of the machines and the familiar smell of grease mixed with heat and I it makes me feel comfortable, confident. I know what I’m looking at and I know what to expect. I feel, at home, like “this is a place I belong.” And the third place that has this effect on me, besides my real and actual home of course, is now China. As soon as I get off the plane I am met with the humid air- almost a wall of heat, sometimes hotter than others, the smell of sweat and perfume and food, people jostling through the gangway in a way not so dissimilar to what you see on the street and in markets and in the roads. I feel confident and relaxed and I know that I’m going to see wonderful things.

The hotel car that I was told was arranged for me in fact was not, so I had to change money at the airport and take a Taxi. Not too big a deal except that I am now the (proud?) owner of my first ever counterfeit 100 Yuan bill. For every person I’ve said “oh that’s never happened to me, the likelihood is so small….”- my apologies. It genuinely sucks when it happens. There it is, this bright new red and white bill with Chairman Mao looking appropriately presidential and it’s completely and totally fake. I tried using it at 3 different places before someone finally explained to me why they wouldn’t take it. I thought it was that the corner was ripped. In fact at the second place- my favorite restaurant, I sent THEM back with one of the 20’s they gave me because it was ripped- I thought, if they are not taking my ripped 100, I am surely not getting stuck with their ripped 20. Turns out the rip had nothing to do with everyone’s refusal to take it, it was that the bill was too smooth. Mao’s coat had no texture. I’ve learned my lesson- check every bill, at least the 50’s and 100’s.

After an early check in at the hotel and a shower, I popped over to Shamien Island for a little shopping and baby spying. I had the taxi driver drop me at the White Swan because I could remember the chinese for the White swan hotel, but not for the Victory. I was blown away by two major changes inside the white swan:
1) it was filled with chinese families with chinese children. They were touring around, on vacation perhaps, most probably just drop in sightseers like myself.
2) I did not see a single adoptive family while I walked through the hotel to get out the back door. I even stopped and peeked down on the lower “stage” area where everyone gets their picture taken with the waterfall behind them. Nope, none there either.
This really goes to show how much adoption from China has slowed. In the early years of waiting, you’d see at least a half a dozen families just walking through the white swan. Even on the Island I think I only saw 2 maybe 3 families the entire time I was walking around! I had heard that Shamien Island was pretty torn up, and they were right. It may be less that there are so fewer people coming to adopt (although there are) and more that families are choosing to stay off the Island for now. Several MORE shops are shut down even compared with the already reduced number just 14 months ago. Shamien Island is a changing place, it’s true.

After some shopping it was time to head down to the chinese medicine college on Shamien Island for a foot massage. #55 is a miracle worker. My feet & back feel fantastic now that they’ve had a little rejuvenation after the flight! Thanks #55…

Finally it was time to catch a cab to visit Tita and Taylor and their new son Bo Jun, or Ke Ke as they nicknamed him. I walked up to the white swan as there are ALWAYS taxis there to be found. I was faced with yet another sign of the times when I arrived and waited, along with several other people, 25 minutes before a cab came! Not because there were so many people in line, there were, but it was because there were simply no cabs coming! Is even the White swan suffering this downturn?

Finally a cab came & took me across town to the northern part of Guangzhou to my dear friend Tita and her husband Taylor’s house for a visit. Tita is a new Mommy as of a month and a half ago, and I was not going to miss this opportunity to see her new son! He is absolutely adorable! A sweet sweet sweet little boy with a round face and very round cheeks! He has a mass of beautiful black hair covering his head, although the poor thing probably wishes he did not in this heat! He has perfect little fingers and adorable little ears. He is just a perfect little boy in every way! Tita’s Mom and Taylor’s Mom are both staying with them right now helping out- in fact Tita’s Mom has been there since I was in China meeting Madeline a year ago March! Finally a baby came and she has been taking good care of Tita- both Grandma’s have. I had not planned to stay a long time on my visit, because I thought Tita would be tired and I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, but in the end, I was sorry I had not given myself more time to just relax and spend time with them! We had a nice visit and Tita’s Mom gave me some rice wine & Egg soup (yes, that literally is the name of it)- it was something new I’d never had before and it was quite good! I watched Taylor’s Mom cook in the kitchen a bit- such skill, I wish that I could just follow a Chinese Grandma around and learn to cook from one for a few weeks!
When it was time to come home, it was thundering and lightening outside, so Taylor arranged a car to take me back to the hotel. It was fortunate because with all of the rain, there would not have been any taxi’s to be had and the description of the bus to the subway sounded a little too difficult for my jet lagged state!!!
What a long day!

Last day in Orkney and getting to Edinburgh

On our last day in Orkney, the others left in the morning on the first ferry. We had one glorious long day partly to ourselves and party with Jennifer and Robin! It was a relief to have the stress of the wedding behind us all and a break from the impatient ones. Little did I know the comments could get worse, but I learned a few weeks later that it could. 'nuff said. THIS day was beautiful and relaxed. We were leaving on the night ferry, so we packed our things in the morning so we were ready to go.

Later we took a trip to one of the close by beaches- can anyone identify this? We could not, but they were all over the beach! I think the hole must be from a clam, but what about the "sand poop"?
Maddie was so excited about the water and not anxious to pose for a family photo, as you can see by the disagreeable look on her face!This beach was not super long, but it was plenty long for our purposes and very pretty. We quickly found some sea glass and sea poreceline, which I had never seen before coming to Jennifer's and seeing it there!

Maddie walked over to Jennifer and Robin at one point, took them both by the hands, and started walking with them. It was absolutely adorable! We sure wish they lived closer so we could see them more often!

The newlyweds! They were so generous to keep us all in their house, but after a week solid of house guests both in this house and in the house Robin had been staying in, I'm sure the smiles in this photo may have been partly due to our imminent departure, and them finally having some quiet time to themselves to really relax and enjoy the start of their new lives together!

It sure was hard saying goodbye to Jennifer and Robin- only made easier knowing that we'd see them in California in just a few weeks for the US version of the wedding! Maddie blew lots of kisses and Jeremy and I daydreamed about just sending for our things and staying on Stronsay...
waving goodbye from the pier...

A view of the ocean and some of the Islands...

As the Volcano ash was still in the air, our flight was not flying, so with Jennifer and Robins help, we had found another way down to Edinburgh. The ferry arrived around 7:30 in the evening to Kirkwall, then an overnight ferry would take us (leaving about midnight) to Aberdeen, where we could get a train. While on the ferry from Stronsay to Kirkwall we saw a couple, Ruth and David, who were at the wedding. We had a wonderful conversation with them, and when they received a text message that there was a cabin available for them on the Aberdeen boat, they called and checked whether it was a 2 or 4 berth cabin. It was a 4 berth cabin and they felt so bad for us being on the boat with no cabin available, they arranged for us to stay in the cabin with them! How fortunate!

We also saw Isabelle who is one of the first people that Jennifer met when she went to Stornsay. She is now living in Kirkwall and invited us all over to her house for tea before we caught the ferry to Aberdeen. We explained we had just planned to wait in the Kirkwall hotel reading room and take the bus to the ferry, as we had no car, but she said she would come and get us after we had some dinner! So kind! So we had her phone number and all made a plan (David & Ruth also) to meet up at Isabelle's for tea later.

We walked off the boat and over to a fish and chips shop to get some dinner- who do we see inside but Isabelle! so we all sat and had dinner there, then Isabelle brought us right away to her house, and immediately her daughter Rhoda (she has a "grandmothers flat" attached to her daughter's house) came over and started playing with Maddie! It was very relaxing to have her entertained by someone else!

Isabelle asked us when we all arrived if we wanted a "copper". She had just complimented us on not having too much trouble with the Orcadian accent, so I admit I was terribly embarassed that I just had no idea what she was talking about! With both Jeremy and I looking at her blankly she said, "cuppa Tea or Cuppa coffee?" Ahhh! Cuppa! not copper! oh....now we get it!

David & Ruth came after they finished their dinner, and when it came time to go to the ferry, Rhoda gave us a ride to the ferry.

Inside the ferry terminal- Maddie slept through a good part of this, as it was 11:30 at night!

The main desk inside the ferry! I was so surprised! It looks as fancy as any Asia hotel that I stay in!

Our berths! Maddie slept in bed wiht me and she slept very well! She woke up just once and I was able to get her back to sleep very quickly!

When we got to Aberdeen, we walked over to the train station and after a short wait, we got our train to Edinburgh. Maddie loved the snacks on the train...(kamut from home!)
And she loved watching the scenery go by!

Maddie and Baba

Beached boats waiting for the water to come back in...

we saw several fields of daffodils

Mama and Maddie

The Wedding and a last trip to see Leah, Molly & the calves

The Wedding!
Unfortunately we were outside and didn't realize they were taking photos, so by the time we realized and ran inside, I had the chance to click just one photo off before everyone stepped down (and they are even starting to step down here), and I realized after taking the photo that the dial on my camera moved over one notch, to the "no flash" setting, so not only is everyone stepping down, but they're also a little blurry because of the slow shutter speed to account for no flash! Ah well, at least you can see the happy couple in the middle!

We all drove up the road to the community center for the sit down dinner. (And by dinner I mean the traditional meaning which also happens to be the Scottish meaning- the mid day meal- this is the same that my grandparents have called it ever since I remember. Dinner is the mid day meal, Supper is the evening meal) When we arrived we were peeking in windows to try to see where we should enter the building, and we saw the spread of food, so of course we had to go take a sneak peek before it was attacked by the hungry wedding guests! It was amazing! It was all potluck style and most of the dishes were labeled so you knew just what they were. There were probably 30-40 different main dishes, and probably 20-30 desserts! Simply amazing! And quite tasty!

And the Cake! It was beautiful! the traditional scottish wedding cake is a dark fruitcake. This one was a layer of the heavy fruit cake, and a layer of pound cake. Both wrapped in a thick layer of marzipan and then a thick layer of fondant. The cake was served as small pieces (about 1" squares) and served with coffee. I normally like fruitcake quite a lot, but only if it's moist! This was a bit dry tasting, but it was wedding cake and I had coffee, so I ate every crumb! It was wonderful, even if it wasn't my ideal taste, to be able to share in this tradition! I very much liked the pound cake pieces that came around later!

Another Scottish tradition that I very much did enjoy was "The Cog." this is a two handled bucket filled with a warmed mix of various liquors, and it's brought around to each of the wedding guests. The wedding guests are supposed to offer some words of congratulations to the bride and groom, then the couple offers the guest a drink from the cog.

We thought maybe the Cog would come around again later, and were dissappointed when it did not! The mix inside of this cog was quite wonderful, and I could easily have drank a glass of it! I might have been flat on the floor after such an indulgence, so that may be the excellent reason the cog didn't have a second circle around the room...there are, after all, MULTIPLE kinds of alchohol mixed together to make this fantastic concoction.
Maddie sneaking up behind Grandpa...

They had balloons suspended over the ceiling, and at some point in the dancing they released the balloons and all the kids got to play with them. Maddie loved picking up all the balloons and carrying them around! She can't say "balloon" so she was saying "boona! boona!"

I think this little girls name was Millie- I think her mom said she turned 2 in February. She was a very serious little girl with a very serious little face, but I was able to get a shot of her smiling! I guess she is always a very serious girl because several people were shocked when I showed them the photo and said they had never seen her smile before!

Hazel was Jennifer's Matron of honor, and is Leah and Molly's Mom

The next day Jennifer and Robin took a boat over to Eday ("E-dee") for a reception there, and we all stayed behind. It was nice to have a relaxing day, and it gave us an opportunity to go back to Hazel and Norman's farm and see Leah and Molly again. Norman was very thoughtful and waited to feed the calves until we arrived so we could see the calves being fed- Maddie decided she did not want to participate, but it was really fun to watch!
Maddie got one last chance to say hi to the other animals on the farm too- of course the chickens...but here she is wondering where they went!And the horses! She loved seeing all the animals! Thanks Leah and Molly and Hazel and Norman!

Learning to dance- Scottish Style

Jennifer's Church: Inside the Church

Flowers for all the windows in the church. As amazingly cold and windy as it was on Stronsay when we were there, there were beautiful daffodils everywhere! They were pretty weather beaten by a few days after the wedding, but they were just perfect in time for the wedding!

Inside the church
On friday Jennifer and Robin had set up a "learn scottish dancing/practice our dancing" night in the church Hall. Before everyone arrive, Maddie had fun getting Molly to push her around in a toy doll stroller...fortunately she is still not very heavy!

Maddie had a fun time dancing with Molly and Leah. They were trying to teach her some Scottish dancing, but she was trying to teach them some "Maddie Style dancing"! I think her style won out in the end! Maddie and her Aunt Jennifer

These were the cheese & Chutney sandwiches. When we hiked down to the Vat of Kirbister Robin was talking about cheese and jam sandwiches which honestly sounded downright scary and not the most appealing...but after trying these cheese and chutney sandwiches that we made for the dance (and by "trying" I mean eating quite a few quarters...) I might be sold on the concept of cheese and Jam sandwiches! These were quite yummy! We also made some straight cheese sandwiches and some tunafish. One of the women who helped prepare the sandwiches insisted to put raw onion in some of the cheese sandwiches. It wasn't green onion or sweet onions or even red onions- it was raw yellow onions! I avoided those!

This was some vegetable and lentil soup that we made as a group- I did all the vegetable cutting up and Dana and Lorna stirred and cooked and mashed. It turned out quite good and Maddie liked it too.

These little round choclate covered cookies are Jaffa cookies...the infamous "giraffe" cookies of a post or two back. Maddie discovered the pink wafer cookies were strawberry and quite enjoyed that discovery!

Molly trying to teach Maddie one of the dances, but Maddie had a mind of her own! This is the first dance when the dancing begins. It is a bit of a promenade and then couples join together, the main purpose being to show off the main people at the start but then by the end, mix everyone up! It was a fun dance to do on the "practice night", and one we could do while holding Maddie which was great, but unfortunately on the night of the wedding we came back for the dancing after it had already started, and they were long done this dance! We missed our opportunity!

A visit to Leah and Molly's farm

We were very lucky to be able to visit Hazel and Norman's farm while we were in Stronsay- their daughters Leah and Molly just adored Maddie and she was pretty smitten with them as well! First we got to see the chickens.... Then we got to see the 3 orphaned calves...
And then we went to see the big cows...
and they were a little surprised to see a little chinese girl in a red cape...
But she was excited to see them and insisted we look too...
The cows continued to look curiously upon this little girl in the red hood...
it's a bit of "whaaaaat?" on the cows behalf and "wow!" on Maddie's behalf. Makes for a great photo anyway!
In the evening we went to the house that Robin was staying at before the wedding, and Maddie had some fun one on one time with Auntie Jennifer.