Thursday and Friday- Wu Zhen Water town & Flying to Guangzhou

On Thursday we opted to add another excursion with our guide to a water town not too far from Hangzhou.  We should of known that it would also be touristy, but to me at least it was still a small surprise! The water town was beautiful- apparently there are quite a few water towns around Hangzhou and Shanghai, and they are very popular with tourists, but I believe our tour guide told us that this was one of the most popular ones.  It was quite beautiful, and interesting that quite a few people lived in houses that were right on the main walkway where tourists trampled through day after day, looking in windows and doorways.  Jessica suggested that maybe some of them have just has much interest to look at the people on the outside, as the people on the outside do looking at those on the inside!

As we walked in we saw a man doing a form of kung fu on a high bamboo pole- it was a surprise and very lucky indeed as they do it only twice a day, so we came at just the right time!  We tried some Hangzhou specialty rice treats with a bit of red bean inside- Maddie was very excited to taste it and had a few bites, then passed it over...then she thought better of it and wanted it back and I think she ate nearly the whole thing!  they wrapped it in edible rice paper, so she did not want to eat the paper, but she did like the treat in the end.  Violet liked it although she only had a few small bites- but Violet seems to like nearly anything, except perhaps plain congee!

We had some simple but very tasty noodles in the water town, and Maddie loved the broth.  She ate quite a few noodles, but drank nearly all of a big bowl of broth!  Violet likes noodles, but this was not an 'eating' meal for her.  The super calm and quiet girl that we saw on the first day is definitely coming out of her shell. I might say, "the other shoe has dropped."  She is definitely starting to greive, and it's sad to see, but it's usually followed by cuddling in very close with me, which is also good.  She is quickly becoming a Mama's girl, but she adores her Baba too.  If he comes out of the restroom she will shriek BABA! and go running towards him!  We have had a couple of "non eating meals" where she just does not want to eat much of anything. I think it's a bit of greiving because it's just "not right"- same with the bottle.  We went to several stores and finally found the Yi Li formula that she had been on in the orphanage, but she still will not take it, even though she screams and cries for her bottle.  When we went in one store looking for it and she saw bottles on the shelves, (I had her in the ergo) she started screaming and kicking and hitting and scratching trying to get to the bottles.  She just wanted it THAT bad, but then we get it to her, and she does not want it.  It's a mystery and we have tried all temperatures, 3 different bottles, various nipples, more open holes (cut them larger), letting her hold it, holding her for it, etc.  Nothing seems to work at this point.  Jessica called the assistant director 3 separate times asking for any more possible clarification (temperature? Any special bottle, etc)- but basically nothing more than what we already knew.

She is doing a lot of hitting and throwing things, but in just 4 days she has learned "gentle touch"- when she pulls her arm back to hit we say it and she usually will stop and softly pet her face or one of us and smile, really proud she knows what to do.  Or, if we don't get her to stop in time before hitting, she will do it after and we give her lots of praise.  Maddie unfortunately has really been taking the brunt of her abuse- she is not as quick so if something is picked up and thrown, it often gets her if she is in the vicinity  She has gotten hit and kicked quite a lot.  But the jealousy we saw in the first few days is amazingly less already. We really are just astounded and amazed and so proud of her- she just lets it roll off her or she will move away- I think she sees us acting on it and we have talked about how we need to set the example for Violet of how we behave in our family.  We could not be more proud of our big girl! Yesterday she hit Maddie and I instantly took her hand and said "gentle touch" and she pulled her hand away and started softly petting her face then petting Maddie- Maddie was SO excited she ran to tell Jeremy saying "Baba!  Violet hit me, then we told her gentle touch and she did it!!!"

It's amazing to see how well she is handling it.  There is definitely still jealousy, but not nearly on the scale it was in the first few days.  We are making sure that she is getting some "big sister priveledges" as we talk to her also about the "big sister responsibilities" (of being the bigger person when your baby sister hits you and helping her to learn...).  It's definitely helping.

Violet at the same time is definitely coming out as more of the girl that we know she is.  She is quiet in the mornings, and when not overstimulated, but has a wonderful sense of humor and absolutely shrieks with happiness when she is having fun.  Her shriek can probably be heard in the next town over!  She has a beautiful smile and Maddie is really starting to genuinely enjoy her sister- she is so excited every morning when she wakes up she says "is my Baby up yet?  Is Violet awake?" and wants to wake her up to play with her.

On friday we visited a temple in Hangzhou (pictures to come tomorrow perhaps) and flew in the evening to Guangzhou.  After checking with our hotel before booking whether they had a baby bed, we arrived at 11 pm and they told us, "no, we don't have a baby bed..."  There was a big discussion and we just finally decided we'd just have Violet sleep in our bed and Maddie would have her same bed on the floor that she loves in hotels. 

Will update more with pictures of the Temple in Hangzhou, and our Saturday outing in Guangzhou!

Wednesday in China

We are a few days behind in blogging due to some very busy times here! On Wednesday we had just a half day planned with the guide- she took us to West lake, a park close by, and a silk factory.  Since I cannot view my blog, I can't recall if I posted much on the silk factory, but now I've attached photos of the lake and our excursion in a boat.  While the day itself with the guide was not long, our days are very long and very busy.  Violet is not fond of being contained, and she wants to walk.  This may be fine in a quiet park, but the whole part of West lake that our guide took us to was crowded with massive groups of tourists, traveling in big tour groups.  It was difficult enough to have Maddie walk, let alone Violet.  Add to that the very different standards of safety in the US vs China and you definitely do not want to let a little one down to walk becuase there are sudden dropoffs, bridges without sides, edges that drop suddenly into the lake... etc.  Not a safe combo with a "girl gone wild" as Violet tends to do!  Oh and did I mention the massive tour groups? One of the great things about China's growing middle class is that they finally have funds to explore their own country and be tourists around their country.  However, the idea of a perfect Chinese holiday touring includes being surrounded by 50 perfect strangers in matching hats following a guy with a flag and microphone.  Now imagine walking through a serene LOOKING park in a very beautiful area and hitting one of these tour groups every 20 steps.  Yep, there were really that many at nearly any given spot that we were at.  So, when you add into the mix a little toddler who has spent all but the last 3 days of her life confined to a few rooms, with the exception of occasionally going home with ayi's for holidays, it's pretty overwhelming.  So the afternoon, post napping, has been spent trying to play calmly in the room.  Of course our hotel is a good 15 minute walk through heavy traffic from the main section of restaurants, so it means that she gets wound up again just in time for us to arrive for dinner....which makes for an interesting dinner!  We have definitely had our share of flinging food, flinging objects, putting too much food in her mouth and spitting it out at any given moment when she saw something more interesting, etc.  We are looking forward to visiting Hangzhou as a family in another 3-4 years, so we can more readily SEE the sights!

Xi Hu and the Silk factory

Sorry there will not be any photos today, it's been a long day and there just weren't too many photos!

We had a busy breakfast this morning at the hotel (every meal is "busy" with our new girl!), then Jessica came to meet us and we went to West Lake for a ride on a boat and to take in a little scenery.  The west lake area is beautiful, and we learned, while we were on the lake, that the picture on the back of the 1 yuan note is actually West Lake!  Very beautiful, very big.  Most of the scenery I saw was wrangling two little girls, one who was wild from overstimulation the other who was wanting to hang off Mama because the first one needed to be held by Mama to not fall over things...  Being Mama to two is going to leave me either broken in two pieces or very strong, I hope it's the latter!

After the short little cruise on the lake (maybe it was 15 or 20 minutes at most) we walked over to a garden in the same area that was packed with tourists, mostly chinese, and several school groups on holiday.  The park was beautiful but the crowded areas were definitely wrecking havoc on little Violet!  She was getting quite overstimulated with so many people & so much commotion around. We put the hood on the ergo over her head to try to keep it a little quieter for her, but it was still tough on her.  Maddie got to feed the koi and the white peacock, so she had a great time!  After the garden our guide took us to a silk factory.  They used double silk cocoons to make silk blankets- they showed us the process of opening up the cocoon (not unspinning like you would do if you were going to use the silk thread)- but opening and streatching it over a rainbow shaped frame to make what they called a "hat".  They stretched about 40 cocoons over this "hat" frame to make a single "hat", then 4 women took it and pulled it out to the size of a mattress so it was an extremely thin layer.  They pile many layers of these together and they are the batting of a quilt/comforter.  They say the silk blankets are said to be warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  This is the specialty of Hangzhou, and the next two rooms were silk blankets for sale (silk inside)- and there was a store at the end for clothes.  I think we were "supposed to" buy a silk blanket, but they are not really my style and we just don't need a silk blanket.  We bought Maddie a qi pao (that was a bit overpriced for the place it was in compared with the quality) to satisfy things, but overall I would say the silk factory was a let down.  We would have preferred to visit a temple!!!

We came back around 12:30 and BOTH girls were wound up overstimulated, so we just had lunch in the hotel restaurant and then got them both down for late naps- both were ready. 

What we learned today is that when Violet gets overstimulated, she gets WILD and wants to run and run.  After her nap she played peacefully and quietly and was not nearly so wild.  So we had a quiet rest of the day after that- walked down the road to find some chinese formula (she still won't take the american formula, and we didn't have any more luck with the chinese formula tonight either), then went to get some dinner & came home.  Tomorrow we are going to a water town with our guide and driver- should be a fun day but hopefully not completely overrun with tourists, that tends to be LOUD and crowded and really tough on Violet.

Civil Affairs office and Dong Yang City

Today was the finalization of the Chinese portion of the adoption- we saw the second notary that was also there yesterday and received our official adoption decree from China!  After that brief visit, we drove to Dong Yang city to visit Violet's orphanage.  There were surprises that I didn't expect.  First off, we were driving through normal city streets- Chinese city streets, when all of a sudden there was just an entrance and there we were.  I truly had this feeling that it would be set a bit aside from the normal part of the city, it surprised me that it was really just in the middle of the city with businesses all around.  Second, we drove in and it didn't seem to look like what I'd seen photos of, but I guess that is mostly because I had the expectation of it not being right IN the city.  Zhao Ling Ling, the assistant director, came out and said that we could take photos outside (as I was at that moment taking photos of the buildings) but no photos inside, and I should leave the camera in the car.  We walked across the courtyard and up two flights of stairs past some elderly who lived there (The Social Welfare institutes in China are for the elderly and orphans) and came to the floor Violet had lived on. And then we walked into the room she lived in.  The room.  There were several cribs and large cribs there, two boys maybe 10-12 years old sitting in wooden chairs who were both severly mentally handicapped, and all the other kids except two were in cribs already for naptime.  There was a double bed in the room (for the ayi on duty I suppose), and all of the kids were older kids, and all except one were mentally handicapped.  One of the two not in bed was a little 6 month old boy who they said was ill, but did not specify what his special need was. He seemed very quiet and calm and they told Jessica (our Guide) that he was very weak, so I guess it was possibly a heart issue, but hard to say.  The other little one who was not in a crib was a little girl- and most likely the feet we saw in the video that we have- who was maybe 9 years old.  She was not as severely handicapped as the other kids, but she was definitely developmentally delayed.  She was very sweet and so excited to see us, hanging around and just taking in every touch, every sharing of affection that she could get.  A very sweet little soul, who unfortunately will most likely live out her life with kids and later adults who are far more disabled than she is.  Don't get me wrong, she would most likely be in a group home as an adult if she lived in the US, but probably in a mid to high functioning group home.   She has been on my mind all day as I think about how her life is so different from kids in her similar situation in the US. 

When we arrived on Violet's floor, all of the ayi's crowded around and cheered and took her right away and were hugging her and kissing her and cheering for her- that was the one time I started to cry at the orphanage- you could just feel the love they had for her- so full of love and adoration for this sweet little girl.  Jessica said that they all loved her because she was the only healthy girl and so smart and clever and funny, and later told us that yes, in fact the Ayi's did sometimes bring her home with them on holidays to stay with their families, so she is accustomed to many different people and not afraid.  We only spent a few minutes there because the kids (many of them honestly where certainly over 7 or 8, but it was difficult to tell ages) were going to have nap, so after Zhao Ling Ling and one other person from the orphanage (don't know her name) brought us to a local restaurant for a lunch they had already prepared- it was fantastic!  While there we asked some additional questions & got some answers we were looking for, also some walls that were surprising, but not completely unexpected.  The entire lunch Violet went between Zhao Ling Ling and the other woman- they fed her, cuddled her, played with her, etc.  Jeremy and I both wholeheartedly agreed that whatever the Ayi's wanted to do today with Violet was okay- we'll have her the rest of our lives, this is their last day to say goodbye.

After lunch, we drove to her finding spot- a local hospital very close to the orphanage.  We were able to take pictures outside but I didn't dare ask to go inside, even though I really wanted to see if there was an obvious location (we know a "where" in the hospital, generally.).

Afterwards we dropped the assistant director at the orphanage, said goodbye, and went to the local police office to apply for Violet's passport.  There was a guy ahead of us in line applying to move to Hong Kong, so we had to wait quite awhile.  Violet did quite well when dropped Zhao Ling Ling off, she whimpered for a few minutes, and that was it.

Finally we finished up and headed back up to Hangzhou.  We left the hotel at 9 and didn't get back until almost 7, so we had some pretty tired and hungry girls with us! Both were so hungry and ready to eat when we went back out for food a few minutes later, and both, despite massive protestations from the bigger of the two, fell asleep pretty quickly.

So far, we have not been able to give Violet a bottle, I think she does not like the formula. We'll try to find some Chinese formula tomorrow, that might help.

The green eyed monster seems to come out most strongly when Big sister is worn out and ready for sleep- and once she is rested she is back to the excited to have a sister mode again.  I espect we'll be seeing this for the next week at least as she gets used to having to share with a sister, but probably on some level for longer!  Fortunately, Jeremy and I have been a very good team through this & switching back and forth to try to give each girl some primary time with each parent.  It seems the more frequently we switch, be better...

The pictures are from today- playing in the hotel room, the orphanage, Director Zhao, and more.  On the way to the hospital Violet sat very happy in Zhao Ling Ling's arms in the front seat- I couldnt' get a front view, but it was just as lovely to see from the side.

Visiting the orphanage was so good for all of us on so many levels.

One More Try- first pics of Violet

Sorry everyone for the misfire on the photos- I uploaded the original big photos in my hurry and learned my lesson!  Here they are again, I think it should work this time.

 

We have had a whirlwind of a day- we arrived at the civil affairs office about 8:50, and filled in paperwork until around 9:30- Violet came with the director around 9:45 or so. It was all very quiet- so different than my experience meeting Maddie in a crowded civil affairs office room with 30 or 40 other families and just as many new children...  It was calm and quiet and Maddie's impatience at waiting around turned instantly into excitement to see her sister when Violet and Zhao Ling Ling arrived.

Violet was quiet and watched us carefully, but did not seem at all afraid- I think they spent a lot of time to show her the photos.  Within probably 15 minutes she had a half smile on her face that made it look like she was trying not to smile, and we had full on smiles and giggles within 30 or 40 minutes.  She is definitely a happy girl!! 

As we were getting ready to leave the civil affairs office, Maddie said "bye Violet."- oh we should have been prepared at that point for the afternoon!  Generally speaking, Maddie was enjoying this new little playmate, but it faded in and out with bouts of jealousy and trying to get a grasp on just how much her world changed.  Ironically the one massive meltdown was on Maddie's behalf, not Violet's.  I don't doubt that Violet will have an all out greiving melt down or two or four in the coming days, but today was not her day.  Neither girl would take a nap today, and that definitely made the afternoon more volitile.  After a long rest time (our attempt at nap), Maddie definitely came around again and was more happy to see Violet and wanted to do things to helper, but for sure it has gone back and forth for most of the day today.  Jeremy and I have been doing a tag team effort at trying to take time with each girl and trade off pretty regularly so that it's not just one parent all the time with each girl- of course if Violet is in my lap, Maddie wants to be, and if Violet is in Baba's lap, guess where Maddie wants to be? But these things get worked out with time and work on our part. 

Violet is a massive snacker- she has been snacking on things all day long.  Zhao Ling Ling had told us this, but seriously, she's not kidding! This girl can eat! And you wouldn't guess it from her tiny little body! She was wearing a 3-6 month sweater today!  Amazingly, she also eats all sorts of things well- today she ate green beans, pumpkin, fried rice, doufu, and I'm sure a few other things I can't think of right now.

Maddie meanwhile has also been exceptional when it comes to eating- she is (as promised!) eating fried rice at every meal, but so far at every single meal she has tried something new- at lunch today she took a bite of every dish we had.  We don't make her try everything at all the meals, because sometimes they are spicy, but we do ask her to try one new thing that she never tasted before.   Most things she just says no, she doesn't like, but one or two things she said she liked after.... it's been a great adventure watching her try new things!

Violet's favorite pasttime so far seems to be ripping paper.  give the girl a paper and a start of a little tear and she will rip rip rip!  I had one magazine I had not yet read...but it's been great entertainment, so it's worth the sacrifice! She does not seem to know about having "things"- so as soon as you give her something she tries to throw it- and she hits a lot- but we are working with Maddie to show Violet what "gentle touch" means and helping Maddie to remember watch carefully and hold her hand up so Violet can give her a high 5.  If your hand is up, she'll give you a high 5, otherwise she'll just hit... It's about being prepared right now!  But yes, we are working on "nice touch" and "gentle touch"....

Well, both girls are asleep in their beds and so is Jeremy in our bed, so I think I'll also head that way.  We both woke up at 4:30 this morning in anticipation of the big day (and perhaps a little bit of jet lag...)- tomorrow we visit Violet's orphanage.  We are looking forward to seeing the place she lived and meeting the people who clearly took such good care of her.

Pictures of our travels so far

As guessed, we are unable to get on blogger in Hangzhou, so I'll have to continue to post from email.

We meet Violet in just under 3 hours and we've all been up since about 4:30 am in anticipation!

For now, Here are some photos of our trip so far!

 

The Jade Buddha

We walked around in the morning- Maddie was very happy to see some Tai Chi and after awhile we found a good breakfast option at a hotel- it was a great Chinese breakfast with baozi and fried rice and even tea eggs! AND coffee! We found the Subway which was very clean and easy to use, and took it to the Jade Buddha Temple. We all loved the temple- it was beautiful and calm inside even though it was filled with people. Maddie was kneeling beside an older Chinese woman who was praying and watching her very intently. She started to mimic her but then got shy. It was really special to see her watching people pray and taking it all in. Later in our visit we were sitting on the steps looking at our map and she told us (just out of the blue) she was thinking about China Mama and China Baba. We talked about that awile and decided to make a prayer to Buddha to look over them and help ensure they are safe and happy. So we went into the temple and did that. It
was a very touching moment.
After we had an amazing lunch and then walked around the People's park before taking the subway back to the university where our hotel is. It was after 6 by the time we got back so we had dinner at the hotel restaurant and went to bed early!

We've Arrived!

But we don't seem to have internet access in our little guesthouse in Shanghai, so there won't be any photos until Sunday when we arrive in Hangzhou.
Maddie did wonderful on the flight over- we had a whole middle row of 5 seats to ourselves, so lots of room to stretch out! She slept the most of any of us!
When we landed Maddie started singing "we're in CHINA!"
When we got off the plane, she saw a sign in Chinese and said, "that's Chinese Mama!!!!"
Off to find some breakfast!

The Last Box!

The Last Box has been taken down! For Christmas last year I purchased a whole bunch of small brown craft paper boxes and decorated them all with the various steps that we'd need to go through in order to bring home Violet. We started with DTC and went all the way through Travel approval. Inside each box was a special surprise for Jeremy and Madeline- a little rhyme and a little something- one box had a paper telling us to go out to Chinese food for dinner, another box had a gift certificate to a book store and a note telling us to buy a book for Violet, another was a "last date night for awhile" for Jeremy and I. And then came TA.

We decided to tell Maddie together that we had gotten TA. She has been waiting anxiously for her sister so we have been explaining the steps as best we can so she knew along the way what we were waiting for- at least by name. She also knew very clearly that "TA" meant "we're going to China."

She had been checking the last several days in the mailbox for our TA, convinced it would come by US post. Jeremy typed up a letter saying "To Jeremy, Kelli and Madeline from CHINA, This is your TA", and put it in an envelope and addressed it and put it in our mailbox.

When we got home from School that day we told Maddie to check the mailbox...She found it!

All the while saying "nothing behind my back....there is nothing behind my back...." When she opened it, she could recognize the letters "T" and "A", and as soon as she realized what it was, she started dancing around the living room singing "we're going to China! Travel approval!! We're going to China!"

Now all the boxes are done, all that is left is to finish getting ready for Travel!

The big prize this time around, a new suitcase for Maddie- a little hard sided one painted like a ladybut, with wheels that she can ride on in the aiprort if she gets tired!