Civil Affairs office and Dong Yang City

Today was the finalization of the Chinese portion of the adoption- we saw the second notary that was also there yesterday and received our official adoption decree from China!  After that brief visit, we drove to Dong Yang city to visit Violet's orphanage.  There were surprises that I didn't expect.  First off, we were driving through normal city streets- Chinese city streets, when all of a sudden there was just an entrance and there we were.  I truly had this feeling that it would be set a bit aside from the normal part of the city, it surprised me that it was really just in the middle of the city with businesses all around.  Second, we drove in and it didn't seem to look like what I'd seen photos of, but I guess that is mostly because I had the expectation of it not being right IN the city.  Zhao Ling Ling, the assistant director, came out and said that we could take photos outside (as I was at that moment taking photos of the buildings) but no photos inside, and I should leave the camera in the car.  We walked across the courtyard and up two flights of stairs past some elderly who lived there (The Social Welfare institutes in China are for the elderly and orphans) and came to the floor Violet had lived on. And then we walked into the room she lived in.  The room.  There were several cribs and large cribs there, two boys maybe 10-12 years old sitting in wooden chairs who were both severly mentally handicapped, and all the other kids except two were in cribs already for naptime.  There was a double bed in the room (for the ayi on duty I suppose), and all of the kids were older kids, and all except one were mentally handicapped.  One of the two not in bed was a little 6 month old boy who they said was ill, but did not specify what his special need was. He seemed very quiet and calm and they told Jessica (our Guide) that he was very weak, so I guess it was possibly a heart issue, but hard to say.  The other little one who was not in a crib was a little girl- and most likely the feet we saw in the video that we have- who was maybe 9 years old.  She was not as severely handicapped as the other kids, but she was definitely developmentally delayed.  She was very sweet and so excited to see us, hanging around and just taking in every touch, every sharing of affection that she could get.  A very sweet little soul, who unfortunately will most likely live out her life with kids and later adults who are far more disabled than she is.  Don't get me wrong, she would most likely be in a group home as an adult if she lived in the US, but probably in a mid to high functioning group home.   She has been on my mind all day as I think about how her life is so different from kids in her similar situation in the US. 

When we arrived on Violet's floor, all of the ayi's crowded around and cheered and took her right away and were hugging her and kissing her and cheering for her- that was the one time I started to cry at the orphanage- you could just feel the love they had for her- so full of love and adoration for this sweet little girl.  Jessica said that they all loved her because she was the only healthy girl and so smart and clever and funny, and later told us that yes, in fact the Ayi's did sometimes bring her home with them on holidays to stay with their families, so she is accustomed to many different people and not afraid.  We only spent a few minutes there because the kids (many of them honestly where certainly over 7 or 8, but it was difficult to tell ages) were going to have nap, so after Zhao Ling Ling and one other person from the orphanage (don't know her name) brought us to a local restaurant for a lunch they had already prepared- it was fantastic!  While there we asked some additional questions & got some answers we were looking for, also some walls that were surprising, but not completely unexpected.  The entire lunch Violet went between Zhao Ling Ling and the other woman- they fed her, cuddled her, played with her, etc.  Jeremy and I both wholeheartedly agreed that whatever the Ayi's wanted to do today with Violet was okay- we'll have her the rest of our lives, this is their last day to say goodbye.

After lunch, we drove to her finding spot- a local hospital very close to the orphanage.  We were able to take pictures outside but I didn't dare ask to go inside, even though I really wanted to see if there was an obvious location (we know a "where" in the hospital, generally.).

Afterwards we dropped the assistant director at the orphanage, said goodbye, and went to the local police office to apply for Violet's passport.  There was a guy ahead of us in line applying to move to Hong Kong, so we had to wait quite awhile.  Violet did quite well when dropped Zhao Ling Ling off, she whimpered for a few minutes, and that was it.

Finally we finished up and headed back up to Hangzhou.  We left the hotel at 9 and didn't get back until almost 7, so we had some pretty tired and hungry girls with us! Both were so hungry and ready to eat when we went back out for food a few minutes later, and both, despite massive protestations from the bigger of the two, fell asleep pretty quickly.

So far, we have not been able to give Violet a bottle, I think she does not like the formula. We'll try to find some Chinese formula tomorrow, that might help.

The green eyed monster seems to come out most strongly when Big sister is worn out and ready for sleep- and once she is rested she is back to the excited to have a sister mode again.  I espect we'll be seeing this for the next week at least as she gets used to having to share with a sister, but probably on some level for longer!  Fortunately, Jeremy and I have been a very good team through this & switching back and forth to try to give each girl some primary time with each parent.  It seems the more frequently we switch, be better...

The pictures are from today- playing in the hotel room, the orphanage, Director Zhao, and more.  On the way to the hospital Violet sat very happy in Zhao Ling Ling's arms in the front seat- I couldnt' get a front view, but it was just as lovely to see from the side.

Visiting the orphanage was so good for all of us on so many levels.