My life is different

Because I have a child from China, being in China is different than before.

I now scan faces, in the factories I visit, on the streets, in the market.

I scan faces for similarities to those children I know from the area I'm in.

I scan faces for any trace of evidence that this woman had to make what could have been the most difficult decision of her life, or that such a decision had been made for her.

I scan faces of pregnant women, wondering what their childs fate will be- will they be fortunate enough to grow up loved and strengthened by the love of their birth family? Or will their lives be changed forever by a single decision?

I scan the streets for young girls and boys playing by themselves and I think, please, don't let these children be one of "Those Children"- those children who are kidnapped and sold in far away provinces as a son for a family or as a bride where there are not enough girls.

I scan the faces of girls working in the factories who look barely 16 and wonder if they are one of the unlucky ones who "aged out" of an orphanage before a family could love them. (legally the minimum age is 18, but I've heard that "there are ways" to get documentation showing you are 18)

I scan road sides and alleys looking for something I hope never to see. A small bundle, a box with a moving blanket.

I scan.