Right now I am worthless at work. Seriously worthless. I have been trying to finish up a few last minute tasks on my last day in the office before maternity leave, but my mind is flying a thousand different directions, my stomach is turning circles, I think I might have heart palpitations, and I can't focus on any one thing for more than 5 minutes!!!
Is this what Pre-motherhood is like? There are exactly 4 days until I leave for China. Unless you don't count Tuesday, becuase we're leaving at the crack of dawn....which means, there are 3 DAYS between now and Tuesday. I can't imagine what we will do in those days- I know that we have some cabinets to paint, some baby room organization, I need to finish packing, there is a breakfast with the girls, but 3 whole days stretching out ahead of me. They seem so long, and somehow, short too.
I wonder if Madeline is sleeping now? Is she waking up and wanting some comfort? Is she sleeping soundly? Does she miss the little baby girl who slept in a crib next to her until just a month ago? Does she recognize the difference? When she wakes, will she lay quietly until she is picked up and changed or will she cry?
I think this is what Holly refers to as "Monkey Brain", and I've had it for going on a week or two now- your brain racing in a thousand different directions like a pack of wild monkeys. Yup, that's me. Monkey Brain. Jittery Jumbley Monkey Brain.
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This Blog started as a record of journey and adventures into Parenthood- first with the adoption of my daughter Sprout as a Single Mom, concurrent with meeting my husband, then as we pursued our 2nd adoption of our little Xiao Mei (Little plum blossom), and how as we navigate our son's stem cell transplant as a family.
Followers
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Other Families, families already home, Interesting Reads
- Barb and Anna
- Claire & Connie
- Emme Lu's China Blog
- February 2006 DTC Group
- Growing our Nest- Mary and Grace
- Laflin our Way to China- Quincy
- LeeAnne in Australia
- Li Xiao Ming
- Lulu's family
- My Mom
- Paul and Simon in Amsterdam
- Ruby & Hazel
- Sprout's Squares
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- Weyman's Twins: Lily Yu Chen & Violet Yu Ting
- When you gotta Glow
8 comments:
Oh yeah. I feel your angst.
It feels these last 4 days feel so long, yet so short. SO weird.
We're all packed but our cloths.
I've done things over and over, checked and rechecked. Starting to doubt my sanity just a little bit....
Exciting times! I guess you are probably experiencing "pregnancy brain" - just compacted into one week instead of nine months! You are SO close to your baby girl. Can't wait to follow your trip!
I've been there, done that, felt the same way. Luckily you have a few things to help keep you busy. You are on the verge of the biggest and happiest change of your life. It is perfectly normal to be nervous and jittery. It wouldn't mean as much if you weren't.
One suggestion I have is to write something, anything to her as you are on the brink of your trip. Those feelings will be hard to capture later and you will have one very special note to share with her one day.
I am so excited WITH you, Kelli! Savor every moment - I know that you will. xo
I've been home two months and still have monkey brain! Can't get anything done. Multi-tasking is a thing of the past.
So thrilled that you are finally headed off for your M! =)
I've been really jittery lately too!!!
Eight months later and still have monkey brain. Enjoy every minute, life will never be the same again and that's the best part.
All of these emotions are normal and expected! Your little one is fine, trust me. She will be even better when you get her in your arms. Will it be perfect, no? It will be quite hard for her and for you, but you'll make it through. Just be patient and allow her time to grieve the losses that are so real for her. It's only natural and it has absolutely nothing to do with you, even though it will feel as if her anger and frustration is aimed straight at you. Just love her unconditionally!!!!! We can't wait to watch your journey! Good luck!
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